Cleaning the Bum: The Basics Basics

This is probably one of the hardest topics to write about because of the eyebrow raising effect it is bound to cause. A quick scan across many different fora and across the internet shows that cleaning the butt is still seen as a disgusting and private affair even though it’s a very natural act. Most people view poop as something dirty that you want to distance yourself from. This explains why you can easily pluck out a newspaper page to wipe your butt yet you will not be comfortable wiping your face with it. In the animal kingdom, some animals like cats and dogs lick their asses after defecating.  Human beings, I guess due to their intelligence, prefer to use other objects (solids or liquids) to do the job rather than their tongues.

Cleaning the butt after defection is also known as anal cleansing.  A myriad of ways to clean the ass after defecation exist, even though there is no single universally agreed upon technique to do it. Some cultures prefer to use liquids such as water for example Muslims, Hindus, Sikhs, the inhabitants of South East Asia and Southern Europe. The western cultures prefer to use toilet papers, wet wipes, or gel wipes to clean the anus. After washing up the anus, some people follow up by drying it up using toilet paper or a dry rag which can be reused.

1) History

The use of toilet paper to clean the butt started in early medieval China, a nation which invented paper. This was before toilet paper became widely spread in the western culture.  According to the toilet paper encyclopedia, ancient civilizations commonly used the following materials to clean their butts after defecation:

Xylospongium or Gompf Stick

Wealthy Romans – Wool and rosewater;

Public Restrooms in Ancient Rome – A sponge soaked in salt water, on the end of a stick. This was also called a ‘gompf stick’ and all those who used the toilet would share the gompf;

Wealthy French – Lace, wool and hemp;

Middle Ages – Hay balls, a scraper or a gompf stick kept in a container in the privy;

Early Americans – Rags, newsprint, paper from catalogs, corncobs, and leaves;

Viking Age/England – Discarded sheep and lambs’ wool;

Hawaiians – Coconut shells;

Eskimos – Snow and Tundra moss;

India – Your left hand and water;

Commoners – Defecating in the river was very common;

Sailors from Spain/Portugal – Frayed end of an old anchor line;

Medieval Europe – Straw, hay, grass, gompf stick;

United States – Corn cobs, Sears Roebuck catalog, mussel shell, newspaper, leaves, sand;

British Lords – Pages from a book; and

Elite citizens – Hemp & wool


The methods listed above are fairly broad and they have one thing in common. All the stuff that was used to clean the butt was trash; and it makes sense because you don’t want to keep anything that has poop on it. However, the ass is a very intimate part of the body and you have to be extremely comfortable with whatever comes into contact with it.

2) Modern Day

A lot of technological advancements characterize the current rear hygiene scene. Cleaning the butt is not as hard as it used to be. You no longer have to use a gompf stick or corncobs behind there. There are gentler and less involving ways to do the job.

Hand Held Bidet Shower

Bidet Shower: This is a hand held triggered nozzle that resembles a dish washing sprayer that many sinks are equipped with. It delivers a spray of water to assist in anal cleansing and cleaning the genitals after urination.

Small Bucket of water: In low income communities and also where water is scarce, people opt to use small buckets, disposable cups, disposable bottles, jugs or mugs to fetch the water and clean their backsides. In some cultures, anything is acceptable as long as it can hold liquids and provide a controlled stream of water. According to these cultures, it’s widely recommended to use your left hand to wash because your right hand will be used for eating.

Portable Douches: There are portable douches or “lotas” in the market that can fit in a handbag or pocket. These look like empty Capri-Suns with screw-top lids that you can roll up.

Toilet Paper: An excellent definition of toilet paper can be found in Wikipedia as follows: ..” Toilet paper is a tissue paper product used by people primarily for the ablution of the anus and surrounding area of fecal material after defecation and by human females for cleaning the perineal area of urine after urination and other bodily fluid releases. It also acts as a layer of protection for the hands during these processes. It is sold as a long strip of perforated paper wrapped around a paperboard core for storage in a dispenser near a toilet. Most modern toilet paper in the developed world is designed to decompose in septic tanks, whereas some other bathroom and facial tissues are not. Toilet paper comes in various plies or layers of thickness, from one-ply all the way up to six-ply, meaning that it is either a single sheet or multiple sheets placed back-to-back to make it thicker, stronger and more absorbent.”

Wet Wipes: Similar to when cleaning up a baby’s bottom, you can also use wet wipes to clean up your ass. Some people prefer to use wet wipes in conjunction with water.

A Wet Cloth: You can also use a rag or a wash cloth to clean up your ass. Thereafter wash it up thoroughly for later reuse. I use a clean washcloth for each shower and wash and bleach them between uses.

Soap and water in the shower: If you want to keep that area generally clean, shower often. Otherwise you will create poop pile ups and on occasion ass dreadlocks especially when you have unshaved arse hair.

Other Materials : materials such as newspapers, vegetable material, mudballs, snow, stones, sticks and leaves

3) How to Clean Up Using Toilet Paper or Wipes

Keeping your butt clean isn’t rocket science. Sometimes it does require extra work! Fold over the toilet paper or wet wipes for each wipe to ensure that there is a decent separation between your hand and your poop. When wiping the bum, it’s generally recommended for ladies to move from the anterior to the posterior (front to back) to avoid infections in your genitals. Ensure that you remove all debris. Ensure you use good quality toilet paper. If you have pubic hair, make sure that you wash that general area daily to remove toilet paper remnants. You can also wet the toilet paper a little and proceed to wipe from front to back.

Toilet Paper

Wipe until you see that there is nothing left in there. It doesn’t matter the number of wipes you take. You just have to wipe it all. Use as much toilet paper or wipes as you need. It is always important to ensure you wipe from the front to the back. The goal is to ensure that your butt cheeks are as open as possible. The best way to achieve this is to bend over. If you try doing this while standing, the poop will get squished together making one awful mess between the butt cheeks. The most satisfying event a person can experience is when the first wipe after a poop comes up clean.

4) General Butt Hygiene

Shave the hair off around your asshole area and clean it on a daily basis. If you do not do this, you will create poop pile ups and on occasion ass dreadlocks especially when you have unshaved arse hair. This is more likely to happen to those who wear loose underwear the free “airflow” and those who don’t shower often because you give the poop time to dry up like glue.


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